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•
Weapons
Another thing we love about Action movies is
the use of the latest weapons. The stuff that doesn't belong on
the streets. No-limit firepower to decimate the bad guys.
Example:
The Expendables: Ladies and
Gentlemen, The AA12. Sometimes it's more fun if our
Hero
never runs out of weapons, but keeps pulling
things out of pockets here and there. The fully loaded walking
arsenal. Example:
Keanu Reeves in
The Matrix
(who needs to reload?).
•
Vehicles
Anything with the Wow-I-wish-I-had-that! factor.
Examples:
The GTO from XXX or Any James Bond car.
Blurring the line between reality and fantasy, tricked-out
machines help our Hero do more. Often the most expensive sports
car will suffice. Whatever we can't afford. The more they throw
at us, the more interesting the movie. Start with a car, but we
want to see yachts, planes, tanks, spaceships, submarines, bad-ass
helicopters, semis, Imperial walkers. If it moves, mount weapons
on it, and let's go! Example:
The gatling gun motorcycle
in Machete.
»A
High Killcount
Bad men dying in lots of different ways with at least one that makes you squirm in appreciation: The
'Garly Kill'. Example:
In Rambo, he kills 81! (Here's
AllOuttaBubbleGum.com's
@Kain424's
Rambo killcount
from their
YouTube channel
with the same name.)
»The Gnarly Kill
Beyond painful, it's makes every an Action Movie Freak squirm
just a little. We don't mind lots of ordinary kills, but there's
got to be at least one that makes the audience groan in
appreciation.
Example:
Rambo III's
exploding 'piñata'.
»Trash Talking
Gotta have it! Even with all of the above,
the hero's got to rub it in
somebody's face. Confidence is good but Cockiness is better.
He's good, he knows it,
and you're gonna hear about it.
Example:
Any
Steven
Seagal
movie. Even more fun is
when they talk trash to build up the Hero's Bad-Ass Reputation. The more other characters talk about and fear the Hero,
the more fun. Especially just before a major ass-whopping takes place.
Example:
R. Lee Ermey's speech before Seagal
marches in
and blows the place to hell in On Deadly Ground. If the
movie's great but nobody's face got rubbed in it, we leave the
theater feeling slightly unsatisfied.
»Camaraderie and
Dominance
Appreciation and respect from
other guys while being the Big Dog, the Alpha Male, the Captain of
the Team. Let's be real, guys have a dog mentality and love
being in a pack. They need that bonding. If there's a
group of big guys, and we're not sure which one is the real star
or the Hero of the movie, that's a problem. The movie won't be
nearly as good. Example:
Even with a cast as great as the one in
The
Expendables, you know who's the star.
With women, there can be only one Baddest
Bitch.
»A Whiner
Part of the camaraderie and
dominance is
the contrast of the Hero with The Whiner.
Heroism highlighted by cowardice.
Example:
There is no better, or more-loved portrayal of
a whiner than
Bill Paxton as Private Hudson in
Aliens.
With all that in mind,
here are a few of The BEST
Action Movies . . .
( . . . .
patience please,
only links in
BOLD are
working))
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|
The GOOD Action
Movies |
James
BOND Movies
For decades, our once-yearly
Action injection. The
British bad ass with every resource the U.K. had to offer. The
ordinary man as super hero. With training, you too could don an
impeccably tailored suit, jump into a pimped-out foreign sports
car, and leave a trail of dead bodies and broken hearts in your
pursuit of evil bent on world domination. The highest
possible stakes always hooked us. Save the world, James!
Licensed to kill. There's a concept. The ultimate weapon,
the various incarnations of the character reflected the times.
The latest, Daniel Craig, used Parkour in the intro.
to Casino Royale. Finally, a Bond who seemed physically lethal.
LOVED loved loved that the guy was the 'bikini babe' for once.
The girl on the horse seemed tame compared to James emerging
from the ocean like Ursula Andress did in Dr. No.
There are so many great Bond movies—each of them enjoyable for
different reasons. Casino Royale, Live and
Let Die, GoldenEye, Goldfinger . . . it's hard to stop
listing them. As popular a franchise as Action may ever
have. The formula for
these movies encompasses all the aspects of the GOOD Action
movie, and we waited each year with great anticipation for the
new car, the latest gadgets, and Bond's cheesy one liner.
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The RAMBO Series
I'd BE Rambo if I could be. Okay
I'm too afraid to be Rambo, but if I was Rambo, I wouldn't be
afraid of anything. He's not just a soldier, he's an army. 3
words: wall of mud. He's so
capable and skilled that weapons seem like toys or accessories. It's
more than a
little sad that he's a Vietnam vet having a hard time in a
reality that doesn't involve killing . . .
"When you're
pushed, killing's as easy as breathing."
We Action Movie Freaks are a blood thirsty lot. We
want someone to push him just to watch all hell break loose.
STALLONE! (Seriously—That's a sentence.)
All the
movies are great but
Rambo III
holds a special place in my heart.
First Blood,
Rambo: First Blood Part II,
Rambo III,
Rambo
(4),
and woo-hoo!
Rambo V coming in 2011!
Nope, he changed his mind. Maybe he'll change it back again . . . ?
Never underestimate the appeal of blowing
shit up!
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The STAR WARS Series
I doooo love the Action/Sci-fi combo. It's so
Saturday-afternoon-matinee good! The first, first line
I ever learned: "They've shut down the main
reactor."
Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope
Nobody's cooler than Darth Vader. Maybe some day something will
come along, won't that be exciting!
Star Wars: Episode V - The
Empire Strikes Back
The Death Star and Imperial Walkers have
to be on
everyone's list of favorites. They were/are just
breathtaking.
Star Wars: Episode VI -
Return of the Jedi
Ewoks—not so much.
Star Wars: Episode I - The
Phantom Menace
Everyone hated Jar Jar Binks.
Star Wars: Episode II -
Attack of the Clones
Loved Watto! and
Yoda the mother-fucking bad ass with a
light saber! At the midnight showing
(the night
before release) that I went to, the moment he whipped out his
light saber and started fighting got the biggest crowd
reaction of anything in the movie.
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
The movie that brought the
story full circle. It was great to see what came before but I
think the performance of Hayden Christensen hurt the movie. I
didn't care for Natalie Portman in her role either. They
both came off as not experienced enough for their roles and
had no chemsitry. Hate on me for that if you must.
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The INDIANA JONES
Quadrilogy
The Bible of Adventure, Chapters 1, 2, 3, and 4.
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom
Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade
and
Indiana Jones and
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
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The ALIEN Quadrilogy
Aaaah, the Action-Adventure / Sci-Fi / Horror Combo Meal! Intergalactic
Size! Tasty.
As good as the first one was, the second proves a sequel can be
better.
However, Alien 3 disappointed us all (weren't you secretly hoping
some how the crew in Aliens would come back to life—that
is was all just a nightmare?).
Alien Resurrection grew on me.
Hated it at first but love it now, and it deserves special attention.
How cool is it that
Sigourney Weaver
actually made that
basketball shot?!
Alien,
Aliens,
Alien 3,
and
Alien Resurrection
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|
 The DIE HARD Series
What a great series! The
first is the best (but the 4th is a close second) and features probably
the most-popular
action movie quote.
John McClane's cowboy cop antics
personify the American Hero spirit. He's determined,
resourceful, and recklessly fearless. At times you wonder
whether he just believes in himself that completely, or whether
he's just going for it, living in the moment and making it up as
he goes along. The main reason we like this character so much is
that he's the average man, and that makes us all feel like we
could be heroes if we were in his shoes (or bare feet).
Die Hard, Die Hard 2 (Die Harder), Die
Hard: With A Vengeance, Live Free or Die Hard, and
Die Hard 5 is scheduled for
2012!
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The
MATRIX Trilogy
The first one was a masterpiece and should stand alone.
The second and third, while welcome and really good, never surpassed the first.
The Matrix,
The Matrix Reloaded,
and
The Matrix Revolutions
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The TERMINATOR Quadrilogy
It doesn't get much more Bad Ass than this: After the semi
chasing the motorcycle crashes in the aqueduct, the T-2 emerges
through the flames. As one audience member in my showing screamed out in
amazement and appreciation. . . "Unscathed!"
These movies have it all. The
horror/sci-fi/action trifecta, they opened a can of our worst
fears: Killer robots, a nuclear apocalypse, the end of
civilization, dominance by machines, and various unkillable
terminators masquerading as human. The guns and machines alone
are cool, but add Arnold and it's action movie history. And
surprise, surprise, the sequels just kept getting better and
better. :20 minutes in to T3 and I felt like I already had double
the ticket's price worth of entertainment. Terminator Salvation
did not measure up, but it had tremendous shoes to
fill.
The Terminator,
Terminator 2, and
Terminator 3,
and
Terminator Salvation
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The ROCK
"Welcome to
The Rock!" Starring Nicolas Cage, Sean Connery, Ed Harris, Michael Biehn, David Morse, William Forsyth, John ("Dr. Cox")
McGinley, Danny Nucci, and more. This movie is WAY underrated. It has it all!
. . . and, Nicholas Cage's delivery is as entertaining as it gets.
Like so many action movies that followed, it's filmed in San
Francisco (even better on Alcatraz Island).
Bruckheimer's best blockbuster.
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The DIRTY HARRY Series
Often (so often) imitated, but never equaled. The wise-ass, big-gun,
no-bullshit movie hero we all wish we could be, but don't have
Clint's attitude to pull off. I never get tired of
watching him
chew on that hot dog while walking and shooting.
Can't a guy even grab a quick lunch? "Ketchup has no
business on a hot dog." (And, forgive me, Mr. Schwarzenegger, but it was a hot dog, not a hamburger.)
Dirty Harry,
Magnum Force,
Sudden Impact,
The Enforcer,
and
Welcome to the Jungle
(And yes, that's Jim Carrey . . . )
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The STAR TREK Movies
About as inconsistently good or bad as the Batman movies. Loved the 2nd movie, and the 4th, but
none of the others until 2009's tribute to the original
TV Series that delivered everything you loved the original show
for.
Wrath of Khan owes much of its appeal to
Moby
Dick
and
to
Ricardo Montalaban
(sadly, every
time I hear his name I hear ear "soft Corinthian leather").
My picks:
Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan (II)
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Star Trek
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The X-MEN
Series
The Mutant idea is so cool . . . someday we may mutate into superheroes. It's so easy to identify with being on the outside of society—when you're a teenager,
you sometimes feel like a mutant. The whole series owes a great
deal of its appeal to the comic books, of course, but Hugh Jackman's intensity and the special effects are the bulk of it
for me.
X-Men
X2
X-Men: The Last Stand
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
X-Men First Class
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The CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK Series
That's right: "Richard B. Riddick, convicted felon, murderer."
The bad guy as good guy. "You made 3 mistakes . . ."
One of the most quotable series ever. And an airborne, spinning,
double-bladed decapitation! What a fight scene!! If you're
not overly impressed, then give
Vin Diesel
the credit for making
it look possible.
 Pitch Black
The Chronicles of Riddick
(they
also made the animated: The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury
Riddick 3
is filming!
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PREDATOR and PREDATORS
They're really big men with really big guns, and they're scared—what chance do you have?
"RUN!!
GO! Get to the chopper!"
"Get to da chappaaaa!"
"Bill-lee get me a way outta dis hohl"
Pred-da-ta
has got to be one of the best-ever Arnold-accent movies! So quotable, so cool. It doesn't get any better than this! The
MUSIC!!! The creature—Stan Winston's genius (RIP) "If it bleeds, we can kill it."
Apparently only Arnold can.
"We move. Five-meter spread. No sound."
PREDATORS
takes us Back to the Jungle!
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JASON and the ARGONAUTS
For its time (1963), this movie had so many cool special effects that
it still holds up today. For me it was all about the
skeletons. This movie (plus Bruce Lee and "kung fu" movies, "The Bridge On
The River Kwai", and "Force 10 From Navarrone", and
where do I stop. . . ) probably started
my love of Action Movies. The action is freakily good (and
awesomely timed) considering a lot of it is
stop motion.
If you've never seen it, I have no doubt you'll love it. It's
the kind of Saturday afternoon movie that kept you inside when
it wasn't raining. Yesterday's Clash of
the Titans.
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300
A beautifully stylized look at ancient warfare and a moving
portrayal of a mythical battle, 300 is a love affair with
the male form and athleticism: graceful strength and a pageant of
Death.
This movie celebrates the stuff the legend was made of: A last-stand fight of raw power, and dying with honor despite being impossibly outnumbered (plus
holy shitness on the
killing and violence level!).
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STARSHIP TROOPERS
The oh-so-pretty Casper Van Dien, and my favorite female character "'Dizzy' Flores".
A great movie followed by
Roughnecks: The Starship Troopers Chronicles an
addicting CGI TV series with
a
killer intro.
(Sadly, Starship
Troopers 2 should have just been a play, not a sci-fi movie, and
Starship Troopers 3: Marauder was released straight to DVD.)
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The TRANSPORTER Triology
Luc Besson is so awesome. He not only wrote this series,
he also wrote:
(1990) La Femme Nikita (also the Director)
(1993) Point of No Return (kick-ass remake of La Femme
Nikita)
(1994) Leon: The Professional (also the Director)
(1997) The Fifth Element (also the Director)
(1998) Taxi
(2000) Taxi 2 [and the "scenario" for Taxi 3 (2003)
and Taxi 4 (2007)]
(2002) The Transporter (writing
credit shared with Robert Mark Kamen)
(2004) District B13
(2008) Taken
(2011) Colombiana (direted by Transporter 3's
Director Olivier Megaton)
And that's just the stuff I've seen. He really got the French
to the top of the Action game, and hit it out of the park with this everyman's
"Bond, James Bond". "Rule Number 2: No Names."
Yeah, he's too cool for that shit. (All real stunt too in
the first one!
Impressive!!) Directors Louis Leterrier and Corey
Yuen have lots of fun with this. Love Besson's mix of Comedy
with Action. Out of everyone I know, he seems to 'get' the Action
fan best. He knows what we want and delivers, never leaving
out the cheese. Gotta have the cheese! Rub their face in it.
The Transporter,
Transporter 2,
and
Transporter 3
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NINJA ASSASSIN
A virtuoso performance by Jong Ji-hoon aka
"Rain"
as "Raizo".
One of the most intense opening scenes ever, the
blood-splatter title set the tone on this freight train to
injury. Raizo takes a beating and then some. Seems as much about
what he can take as what he can dish out, but you have to dish
more to win, and does he! A full sampling of fighting skills and
weapons are on display. I just kept thinking "One wrong move and
something or someone's getting sliced for real. The ending/fight
scene features fire as a character in breathtaking shot after
breathtaking shot.
Rain,
Yuen Woo Ping, and
87eleven
set the bar
really high with this one.
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EXCALIBUR
Like beauty seen only in dreams! The scenery, the armor, the
actors/characters, the colors of the sky, the sense of mystery
and the mystical. Of course, a truly great story to begin with,
but what a vision of it. The
knights on horses thundering through the alee of cherry blossoms
to "O Fortuna" was pure magic . . . as in the charm of
making "Anál nathrach, orth’ bháis’s bethad, do chél dénmha"
uh-huh. Well, that clears it up. Sounds like ah nal nahd
drrrach ooothbas bethood dockiel tienveh to me. This movie is
the stuff childhood fantasies are made of. It enchants
every time I watch it.
Nicol Williamson
as Merlin steals
the show. Love narrated movies.
They have a more personal, I'm-telling-you-a-story feeling. And:
gory battle scenes! (nothing was as good for me until
Braveheart).
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ROBOCOP Series
Nice legs! It seemed like people thought of
Robocop as a 'cute little movie' but it has become a cult classic.
People LOVE it. As recently as Cop Out, Tracy Morgan used
a line from it as part of his hilarious homage ("hommidge")
scenes.
Part of it must be our fascination with robots and
machines, and maybe the popularity of the robot dance (kidding) because the way he moves is
a big part of the appeal. The rest must be his total UNSTOPPABILITY!
He's the kind of cop cops need to be. Shoot at
him, it won't do you any good. There's a sense of humor to the
whole thing, especially when the bigger machine gets taken out.
The biggest part of why we loved him was (of course) the machine's humanity—It's
still the cop who died under there, and he remembers who killed
him. Peter Weller has a great face for this and an awesome
voice. His voice adds as much to it as Harrison Ford's
narration does to
Blade Runner. The movie didn't take itself too seriously
and that's why it worked. They were having fun, we were having
fun. It was one of those campy cool '80s movies like Runaway
starring Tom Selleck and Gene Simmons. For
sheer action, it's still fun to watch on a Saturday afternoon.
It helps that it was directed by Paul
Verhoeven (Total Recall and Starship Troopers).
"Dead or alive, you're coming with me!"
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The FAST & The FURIOUS
Series
The Car Chase/Race series with the best cars and a Skankapalooza.
"Muscle beats Import, every time."
The Fast and The Furious,
2 Fast 2 Furious,
The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift,
Fast & Furious,
and Fast
Five.
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TRANSFORMERS
Series
Transformers
kicked ass! When Scorponok comes out of the
sand . . . and when
Barricade gets a running start and
transforms into the police car in mid-air
it's worth the
whole movie! The Autobots vs. Decepticons thing is great, and in the
movie you know everyone was just waiting to see the Deceptions.
The bad guys are definitely the cooler machines. After watching
the original Transformers cartoon series, I became the BIGGEST fan
of the sequel "Beast Wars"! Optimus Prime, Megatron (the best evil sarcastic bad-ass ever),
Waspenator, Rat Trap, Scorponok, Dinobot . . . Maximals versus
Predacons. Doubt it would make as good a movie series though.
(Everyone hated the second Transformers. How bad was it?
This bad.) Like
a defibrillator to the chest
Transformers: Dark of the Moon. recharged
3D, and how! Eye-popping 3D scene after eye-popping 3D
scene. All Michael Bay needs now is a script as
good as
The Rock was.
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BLADE RUNNER
I know, I know, it's not "Action" but it's so good, so
influential . . . A movie so impressive, poetic, and visually stunning, there could not be a
follow-up. The absolute coolest look and sets for its time and
for a
long time after. Entering the theater to enter another world was
never more satisfying than seeing this movie on the big screen.
We were totally transported to an alien society and futuristic
culture of clones and cops. The big argument about this movie is
whether Harrison Ford's character knows he's a replicant
or not. I think it's clear when Gaff leaves Deckard
the origami unicorn, he's telling him he is, and this is
why Deckard runs away with Rachel. What this life
might be like for them and how much time they have, are questions
we kind of don't want answered (no sequel) because it parallels
our own fear of death. We are all replicants because we don't
know when our time will end, or when our memories will be washed
away "like tears in the rain". A complete story (not an
installment); a work of art that does and should stand alone.
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(male or female).
He can be a one-man force of destruction, or lead a group of
other big, beefy men.
No girly men or wimpy chicks!
