action movie freak    
 



TRANSFORMERS:
Dark of the Moon

 

"Tell Megatron:  Let's tango."
 

(2011)  Director: Michael Bay

Transformers was great, but the popular opinion of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was not good. This movie makes up for it. I don't think anyone (well, any
Action Movie Fans or Freaks) will give a damn about the plot. There was so much 3-D action, my eyelids were fluttering like Nicolas Cage in Lord of War watching the ammo fly and hearing the sound of money! Cha-Ching! Cha-Ching! Cha-Ching! You will certainly feel you got your money's worth.  The 3-D is JAW-DROPPING !  UN-BAY-LIEVABLE !


MOON PIE

All Hail Michael Bay! He delivered. The opening of Transformers: Dark of the Moon was like time travel. If you're old enough to remember July 20th, 1969 and saw the Apollo 11 moon landing on TV, it went a long way to making you feel that childhood joy, national pride, and sense of wonder in space exploration—A slice of Americana, and a real treat (hearing it described by Walter Cronkite again). Even if you're not that old, take a trip to the moon plus the fact that the movie is about Transformers (!) (still can't get over how awesome that is, period) and it still fills you with wonder. The same wonder the 1969-era astronauts in the movie must feel walking around inside a Transformers spaceship. Cut to Chernobyl and "Shockwave" . . .  Before I say any more or ruin anything if you haven't seen it, PLEASE watch this video (below) in 1080p full screen.

 


 
"SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR AWESOME!"
If that preview doesn't convince you it's worth seeing, all I have to say is, you're not prepared.  You think you saw it all in Avatar? You think 3D sucks? Think again. This movie is what 3D was made for.  You will not only eat your awesome, you will feel gorged and bloated.  It just keeps delivering eye-popping 3D scene after eye-popping 3D scene.  If you're smart, you'll sit a little too close so your peripheral vision is filled, and I guarantee you'll duck and feel like you get just got dirt in your mouth cause it's hanging open. 
 

THE SOUP
The movie throws in lots of little cool bits of this and that.  First there's the vehicles (all kinds), incredible cars, the Transformers, their peripheral robots.  It's so beyond wondering how they do anything anymore.  This movie is on it's own level. Don't take my word for it, go see for yourself. It features Spock (?!), McDreamy, the guy from The Hangover (you know which guy "motherfuckers!") and The Hangover Part II, as well as bits from The Secret of My Success, Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan (I still can't believe they stole that dialogue but I'm not holding it against them because I was so pleased overall), Get Smart, and other things I was too busy being impressed with the 3-D to write about, or that I missed.  John Malkovitch is great as a mean Boss/eccentric Mogul type. There is a Millenials joke/reference at some point about Sam Witwicky, which went nicely with this line from Malkovitch: "You want the job after this, but this is the job standing in the way."
 

HOT WINGS
The character Shaia LeBouf plays seems cartoonish and overly emotional, but when he says "I take my orders from the Autobots.  I know them, I don't know you." he's all grown up, and all the man he needs to be.  This movie rests on him quite a bit and he carries it, but the 3D is the real star, not even Rosie Huntington-Whiteley can compete.  IF YOU ARE NOT SATISFIED WITH THIS MOVIE, don't bother going to the movies anymore—you're impossible to please (face it).  The movie takes a while to get to the scene everybody paid $17 (or more) to see in IMAX 3D but it alone was worth the price of admission: The Wingsuits!  (You could have heard a pin drop and we held our collective breath watching the men pour out of the planes—Incredible!)

Transformers 3 "Birdmen" Featurette (HD) from Michael Bay Dot Com on Vimeo.
 

CLICK HERE to watch the 60 Minutes piece that featured wingsuits.

JUST DESSERTS
I will have to see this movie at least twice more.  I'm thinking 4 more times.  Because the ending (and by ending I mean  the highway chase and everything after) is so 'sweet'. Once word of mouth kicks in, I think it will shatter all box office records.  The first highway chase, the "Mexican standoff", the skyscraper crushing, and Optimus Prime's big moment, oh yeah, and the wingsuits. For me to say "Oh yeah, and the wingsuits" should give you and idea how much MORE awesome stuff there is to see.  All the Action scenes are staggering in detail, flawless in execution, creative in perspective, spectacular in pyrotechnics (real or green screen it doesn't matter), and deliver action like a whopping huge fist to the face (also literally in the movie). 

. . . And nobody will be talking about the plot, or care to explain anything other than all the cool shit they just saw.


My only teensy weensy disappointment was in the voice of Megatron.  As a huge Beast Wars fan, it just wasn't deep enough or sarcastic enough to convey the character for me.  But who cares, it's like .05% of anything. 

 

 



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