The Action Movie BAD ASS

At Last!  Believability in a Female Bad Ass: Gina "Crush" Carano dominates in HAYWIRE . . .

Although the bigger the better, the Action Movie BAD ASS comes in all shapes and sizes:
ACTION FIGURES • THE WHINER • HALF & HALF • REGULAR JOES • and JANES
 

• BRUCE LEE
Watching "kung fu" movies and making fun of the dubbed sound not matching the lip movements is a really common joke, which only drives home the fact that language was no barrier to the enjoyment and popularity of these movies. While we made fun, we LOVED it! And Bruce Lee (3 of his 5 movies were in English and who would have been even bigger in fame had he lived—we can only imagine)—CREATED my idea of the BAD ASS, and many other Action Movie Freaks as well. Along with his amazing physical prowess came philosophy. This quote from Enter The Dragon explains why many of us love the Action Figure:

 "It is STRENGTH that makes all other values possible.
Nothing survives without it."  

Lee was just as cool as it gets. Kung Fu movies made us hungry for more, then along came:

• CHUCK NORRIS
Everyone knows Chuck Norris is the BADDEST MAN ON THE PLANET.  I'm sure you've heard the one liners. Pick a site: The Chuck Norris Facts.com or Chuck Norris Facts.com.  They're all so funny, it's hard to pick a favorite, but I love "If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down." I feel really lucky to have seen most of his movies in theaters when they came out.  He is THE MAN! All his movies are enjoyable. My favorite is A Force of One.

Mr. Norris was the first honoree in the first all-Action Movie Festival: ActionFest 2010! They showed Braddock: Missing in Action III and Mr. Norris's personal favorite Code of Silence, and, put a Chuck Norris quote on the back of their official t-shirt: "If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you."

It was great to hear him speak about his early martial arts training and matches against Bruce Lee (on and off the screen). He's a hero in real life too, giving back with his inspiring and effective Kick Start Program. At the inaugural Actionfest closing ceremony, he gave his Lifetime Achievement award to his brother, stunt double, Director, and one of four "Co-Founders" of ActionFest, Aaron Norris, as a fitting tribute to the Stuntmen who make the Action Movie Bad Ass look good.

 ACTION FIGURES
With the ACTION FIGURE, so much of the movie's success rests on their ability to be that hero, it's hard to separate them from the role afterward. Not enough credit is given because they are in such great shape, as if being in great shape is too much credit already, and the 'action'—the performance of such magnificent physical feats is equally underappreciated. Too often dismissed and not considered serious acting roles, action movie heroes should instead be doubly awarded. Not only are they talking the talk, they're walking the walk!

Still, selling it is a smaller part of the game because when you look this good, we're already buying. There's a "holy crap" factor to the ACTION FIGURE physique. They look like they could really get the job done, and nothing is more convincing than real strength. These guys don't need rubber suits with fake muscles. Hey now! (Grrrrrrrr!)

Carl Weathers and Arnold.  This is how the Action Figure shakes hands!

• DWAYNE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON
After The Mummy Returns, The Scorpion King, and The Rundown, we expected BIG things.  BIG (he's taller than Arnold)! Walking Tall was good, but too bad DOOM was so poorly structured: The Rock and Karl Urban, and they still couldn't make it work.  At last, with The Other Guys (however brief his appearance), Faster, and Fast Five, The Rock took over as the Ultimate ACTION MOVIE Bad Ass we always knew he was!  Welcome to the top!!

The Rock has charisma in buckets! I was glad to see him stretching to do a role like he did in Be Cool (the sequel to Get Shorty), but I was fairly certain the people making the movie were making fun of him. And even though he went along with it, it still smacked of jealousy and trying (unsuccessfully) to make him look bad. All I can tell you is I can watch him smack his ass in the mirror all day long. And when they got to the end and he did his native dancing—(IS THERE anything hotter? Not for me!!)—it seemed like they threw that in there just because they knew he'd go for it—Haters! Casting him in that role, and using the fact that the character is gay as bait (like it was an acting challenge), just seemed like 'Hollywood' set him up and was laughing at him. Well F.U. He's The Rock! The Director of Walking Tall must not have liked him either. They banished him to his own commentary. Yep. All by himself. He does come across as egotistical (it's not bragging if it's true), but, he was learning. They were just jealous, Haters.

Women love him, kids love him.  He's "The People's Champion!" Somebody write something worthy of him! We want to see more! He's paid his Action and his acting dues. We don't want him to see him go in a leading man/drama direction. All we want to see him do is Action! So, please, no more kiddie movies (although he was great in Race To Witch Mountain, which is classified Action Adventure Family, and it delivered).  Fast Five was fun but his role was minimal. I hope we see more of him in The Fast and the Furious 6 (2013). 

• Coming in 2012
G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation is filming now. Following The Rock on Facebook has given us a glimpse into moviemaking we've never had access to before. He regularly posts stills and sometimes video (you can even send him a video response on tout.com).  His character's name is ROADBLOCK—how cool is that?! This role seems like the best use of his talents. The weaponry alone is intriguing.  He was born to play this soldier. I have ridiculously high hopes for this movie.

He has also posted the preview of Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Swiss Family Robinson was one of the first movies I saw and I was raised on the Classics, so I am happy to see him in this. (LOL "The pec pop of love" You gotta love his joy of life!)

• Coming in 2013
Goliath ?! with Taylor Lautner (ooieeee have they run out of ideas)? and Snitch a Drama/Thriller with Susan Sarandon  . . . why?

• SYLVESTER STALLONE
He's Rocky, he's Rambo.  Sly absolutely sells it.  He not only sells it, he pushes it past the limit all the time. The bad ass's bad ass, he's still got it and still making great movies. I loved the latest Rambo and the latest Rocky, and with The Expendables, for me he finally beat Arnold out of first place in the Action Movie genre.

Even now, every time you see him, you think DAMN!  But it's not just how strong he is, it's what he does with it that counts. When Rocky won, we all won. The underdog movie of all time: A hero so unassuming, so likeable. From the brutal alternate one-arm push-ups to the cross-city runs, to punching sides of beef, Rocky brought out the inner champion in all of us—Some raw eggs, a grey sweatsuit, a little early morning determination, and we think we could all walk the walk. Everyone identifies with his desire to be somebody. The workouts in Rocky IV made me realize I don't need to pay for a gym, I can drag a log, or lift rocks.  He was so BAD ASS, he didn't even need equipment to work out.  

As Rambo, he took the fighter to another level. Rambo was our American ninja. The hero's hero. Competent and fearless to the nth degree. He made do with whatever he has. By the time you realized he snuck up on you, you were already dead. When he emerged from that wall of mud in Rambo: First Blood Part II, he cemented his place in action movie freakdom!  Where others failed, he got the job done by himself.  He was the soldier every man would like to be: strong, resourceful, brave, loyal, honest, and vicious. He set his own wound on fire in Rambo III.  If you saw it, I don't need to say anything more.  But I want to. In Get Carter when he says "You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me it's a full time job." It's scary. Truer words were never spoken.

SYLVESTER STALLONE as Rocky Balboa . . . and women everywhere swooned!

• VIN DIESEL
The shower scene from The Chronicles of Riddick was sPECtacular!

Nobody seems to give Vin enough credit. I get tired of hearing he can't act. Like hell he can't. It's not like the ladies care anyway. If he were any sexier, there'd be pandemonium (like this!) Growl, baby, growl.  I think he moved through Riddick with runaway intensity. "If you can't keep up, don't step up." The characters he's been best at aren't complicated. Isn't that what Action Movies are all about? You have to be physically convincing, believable, to be the kind of bad ass he's been. He doesn't walk, he struts, he stalks, he sizzles. Sexuality crackles off this man.

In Pitch Black, he was the anti-hero they were all afraid of, but who they looked to to save them. The strength of his presence carries his movies. He was the biggest reason for the success of the Fast and Furious series. He seems down to earth but a little scary, like your neighborhood tough guy. His deep voice and devastating physique command attention, even when he whispers. He seems to measure out his performance with masterful control. Silent and deadly, his is not a thinking man's part—So much the better!  As Roseanne said to Fabio (I mean Dan, starting @6:30) "Don't talk."

"Aaaah . . . the Riddick!"

• MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ
Ever since she re-invented the bad-bitch-with-attitude, Michelle Rodriguez has been steaming up the lens in Action Movie after Action Movie. You either love her or hate her. She's the go-to actress for every tough-chick character. She was the teaser at the end of Fast Five which left us with the idea that Lety's coming back from the dead in The Fast and the Furious 6 (2013). She's starred in Battle Los Angeles, Machete, LOST (TV), Avatar, Fast & Furious, Battle in Seattle, The Breed, BloodRayne, Control, S.W.A.T., Blue Crush (how cool was she in that!), Resident Evil, The Fast and the Furious, 3 A.M. Salgado, and Girlfight (according to IMDB she beat out over 350 others trying for the role).  She's played a soldier convincingly many times, and has over 30 titles to her credit at just 33!  She's just 5' 5" but packs a lot of power into a tiny frame.

She's also a character voice in the video games Halo 2, Driv3r, True Crime: Streets of LA, and Avatar : The Game.  The ultimate endorsement.

Check him out demonstrating telegraphing with Kimbo Slice. 

He's confirmed as having a role "Hector" in The Expendables II (also 2012).

It's not an exaggeration to say he's wildly entertaining. Don't miss anything with him in it. I hope to see more and soon.

It's one thing to be good at one or two martial arts (some spend a lifetime). Jaa appears to be invincible, and a master of everything you can think of, and some you haven't: like fighting off of an elephant. Yep, that's what I said. Might have helped that his parents were elephant herders, so dispense your concern over the elephants appearing in the movie as 'actors'. Everyone knows you don't mess with an elephant, they'll stomp your ass if you treat them badly, and considering Tony Jaa's skills, an elephant stomping might be less painful. And that's an 8-pack, at left, from the Enter The Dragon remake. Check the veins! Go watch any Tony Jaa movie before you open your mouth about him being on my Action Figures list. Ong Bak 3 did not make it to Miami and was hoping they would show it at Actionfest 2011 so I could see it on the big screen, but no such luck.  Time to buy the DVD! 

• CHRIS EVANS
Maybe there are so few younger manly men heating up the screen in Hollywood because Chris Evans is burning so brightly.  He rocked the suit in Fantastic Four (as good as 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer was bad) but looked better out of it.  He starred in Push and  The Losers, and was an evil ex in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.  Next, he conquered hearts as Captain America in Captain America: The First Avenger.  He's got that cocky charm that Action Movie Freaks eat for breakfast. He's good and he makes sure you know it.  He was perfect as a "dude" in What's Your Number? He's so good looking, he's bound to be in more chick flicks and romantic comedies, but I hope after The Avengers (2012) he appears in more Action Movies. We women will definitely be watching! 

• ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
The former undisputed KING of Action Movies: Mr. Universe,  Mr. Olympia,  Mr. Action Movie! So dominant in the genre Saturday Night Live's Hanz and Franz coined the phrase “non-Arnold movies”. With a body like his, it must have been hard to find a stunt double.  The comic book super hero come to life. He embodied our collective desire to be invincible, and was what we wanted to be when we grew up. His belief in himself, evidenced by his achievements, his determination to succeed, and success in attaining 'The American Dream', were all part and parcel of his charm, along with the Austrian accent that made his characters all the more likeable and memorable. 

ARNOLD as Conan The Barbarian 
Still a great Saturday afternoon matinee movie.  Leather bikini!

In spite of his bad behavior, he will always be the shit for being The Terminator! 

He carried the sequel to The Fugitive, U.S. Marshalls, and even though it was a bad movie, he was good in Drop Zone. He's made lots of movies that went straight to DVD, which is our loss. He was great in the first Undisputed, and I liked him in The Money Train—kinda doesn't matter what genre he's in, he's so watchable. It was a stunning surprise he was cast in To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar, but he was scary good in it (I confess I didn't watch the whole movie, but I saw enough to be wowed at his range and acting talent). I liked him in Murder at 1600, and Chaos.

If you're a Dolph fan (he's on twitter @Dolph_fans but  has only 1 tweet), check out AllOuttaBubbleGum.com's breakdown of  Universal Soldier: Regeneration. 

As good as he looked in this get up from Masters of the Universe, he still looked good in The Expendables. When you got it, you got it.  At right, Dolph topping the leather bikini category in every woman's fantasy.

Special ACTION FIGURES Category  WRESTLERS
Until I saw The Marine I didn't think an action movie starring a pretty wrestler could be ugly, but this movie was three explosions and John Cena not being able to walk straight. As predictable as The Condemned starring "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was (the tag line was "10 people will fight . . . 9 will die" guess that takes suspense off the table), it was enjoyable because there was some GREAT fight scenes! The following wrestlers, happily, kick ass off screen and on!

• "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN
Texan Steve Austin is steadily invading the Action Movie world and I hope to see more of him. The epitome of the strong-and-silent type, he's really likeable and fun to watch. From a small part in the remake of The Longest Yard, he began making movies that were Steve Austin vehicles, until he accepted a small part in that ultra-boys'-club The Expendables. Loved him in The Condemned—He was unstoppable!

Whatever he winds up doing, I'd love to see him as a pirate, and a patriot! It would be fun to see him with the other big baldie Vin Diesel, and doing anything military in a uniform. I think he would probably be better as a villain, but with the right roles, and a little more attitude, I think he could have a really huge Action career. You can't help but like him. He's part The Thing, part Mr. Clean (sans earring), part All-American. He better hurry up, though, he's 46 . . .

He'd make a great Lex Luther. They tend to cast way-too-ordinary-looking actors as comic book heroes for my taste (read my Anti-Scrawny Rant.)

• JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA
After Arnold (of course) Jesse "The Body" Ventura is the PREDATOR Bad Ass! He speaks one of the most classic Action Movie bad-ass quotes:

"I ain't got time to bleed!" 

Maybe it's the swagger, maybe it's the dimple in his chin, maybe it's the moustache (no, it's not the moustache although Action Figure Therapy would say it's like a "moustache with titties"), maybe it's everything. Jesse is the G.I. Joe doll come to life. The chauvinist's chauvinist. There isn't a lot to his role in this movie, and he's not on screen that much, but he has a commanding presence and really adds a silent strength and force to the group.  When he says "I ain't got time to bleed" and is asked "You got time to duck?" you half expect he doesn't and won't, and will still come out of it okay. 

I also liked him as "Captain Freedom" with Arnold in The Running Man.

Check out: AllOuttaBubbleGum.com. Their action movie breakdowns are hilarious! Follow them on twitter: @AllOuttaBG

 THE WHINER
The Whiner? Yep! The Whiner is the complement to the action movie bad ass. The speck of green that makes the red so much more powerful.  All the really good action movies have them, and in the great ones, they steal the show. That's why I have them here with the Bad Asses: for how can you truly appreciate bravery without cowardice? They are the yin to the bad ass yang. No really great action movie is complete without The Whiner. Someone to explain when you're in some "real pretty shit". Their antics make light of a situation when everyone (you included) is pooping-in-their-pants afraid, and they forego all semblance of dignity. Being heroic is always the farthest thing from their mind and the last thing on their lips. The worse their situation is the more you laugh at their (and your likely) inability to deal with it. That guy would be us, and that's why we laugh.

Here are some of the best Whiners, ever:

• BILL PAXTON
    as "Private Hudson" in ALIENS
#1 on the list of course! His cocky attitude in the beginning made his taking a crap later all the funnier. He's scared out of his mind. Of course he is. You are too, but he's not afraid to show it. His way of dealing with it is wise-ass humor. Has being totally fucked ever been funnier?

"Well, that's great. That's just fuckin' great, man! Now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit now, man."
"That's it, man. Game over, man. Game over!  What the fuck are we gonna do now? What the fuck are we gonna do?!"

• Richard Chavez
    as "Poncho Ramirez" in PREDATOR
The first crew is found skinned alive. The big guys are scared and they're being picked off by something unseen. How do you think the little guy feels? Then, he gets wounded. Oh, he SO does not want to get left behind! Would you?

"I can make it! I can make it!"

• LELAND ORSER
    as "Larry Purvis" in ALIEN RESURRECTION
The bigger the crap they take, the funnier it is. This poor slob falls into the world of Alien Resurrection to find out he was infected in his cryosleep. Talk about your waking nightmares! Then they have to try to explain it to him.  According to Wikipedia: "Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times felt: 'There is not a single shot in the movie to fill one with wonder,^[1]" I disagree! Leland Orser's fear-filled face is easily one of the best action movie moments ever. But more about how wrong critics were about this movie in a different place.  

"What's in-fucking-side me?"  

• KEVIN J. O'CONNOR
    as "Joey Pantucci" in DEEP RISING
Kevin J. O'Connor played the same type of character well in The Mummy. If you've never watched this movie, watch it just for him.

"The Girl From Ipanema."

• INGO NEUHAUS
    as "Marine Who Dies" in THE ROCK
If not for this performance, the movie would not have much tension outside the relationships and just watching the action unfold. His death is why you care that they succeed at protecting everyone. He sells it with his panic, the pus, and the convulsing. The makeup was incredible—in just a few seconds he goes from sheer terror to slippery blob. Really brings home the idea of "movie magic" because you can't help but wonder how many gifted make-up people it took to transform him, how many levels of makeup he had to wear, and how many takes it took in how many hours (or days) to film. It may not be fair to say he's a "whiner" but it certainly is an epic lose your shit moment.

"Lemme outta here, oh God! Lemme outta here, oh God!"   

 HALF and HALF
Part Action Figure, part Regular Joe. They've got the bad half of big 'n' bad, but not the big. Muscular, yes, but even when they are doing seemingly impossible physical feats, their physicality and stature seems attainable. With just a little extra training, maybe we could get there. We expect the Action Figure to do all these things, but when these guys do it, it's considerably more impressive.

• TOM CRUISE
My endless love for Tom Cruise began when he appeared briefly in the Brooke Shields movie Endless Love (1981) playing soccer. I remember thinking: "To hell with this story, let's follow that guy!"

Tom is always in great shape and does a lot of his own stunt work. His body of work is impressive and I would say (in box office success as well as popularity) he was the next generation's Burt Reynolds: attractive and average enough in stature to be a leading man, yet physical enough to sell the Action scenes. If you're a true Cruise fan, you saw every one of these movies—and thought they were all good!

Taps (1981)

The Outsiders (1983)

Losin' It (1983)

Risky Business (1983)

All the Right Moves (1983)

Legend (1985) (in which he looked painfully beautiful)

Top Gun (1986)

The Color of Money (1986)

Cocktail (1988)

Young Guns (1988)

Rain Man (1988)

Born on the Fourth of July (1989)

Days of Thunder (1990)

Far and Away (1992)

The Firm (1993)

Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994)

Mission: Impossible (1996)

Jerry Maguire (1996)

I believe Tom Cruise is underappreciated because people think he IS the role he most often portrays (a cocky jerk) in real life, and therefore he is not acting. This is unfortunate because his performances are so enjoyable, and he deserves credit for that. Think it was easy to bark "I want the truth!" at Jack Nicholson? "[He eats] breakfast 300 yards away from 4,000 Cubans who are trained to kill [him]." If only Tom didn't seem so damned pleased with himself maybe we'd like the person/actor more, but then we wouldn't love the characters so much.

Joel • Maverick • Vincent • Brian • Cole Trickle • Lt. Daniel Kaffee • Ethan Hunt • Jerry Maguire

Continuing the list . . . It IS impressive. Come on!! Give the man some credit!

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

Magnolia (1999)

Mission: Impossible II (2000)

Vanilla Sky (2001)

Minority Report (2002)

Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

The Last Samurai (2003) (Love the long-haired Tom!)

Collateral (2004)

War of the Worlds (2005)

Mission: Impossible III (2006)

Lions for Lambs (2007)

Tropic Thunder (2008)

Valkyrie (2008)

Knight and Day (2010)

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)

• JACKIE CHAN
Jackie Chan made a younger generation love martial arts movies. If you didn't already love 'kung fu' movies because of Bruce Lee, then you probably went back to have a look after you saw Jackie Chan. When his first movies came to American cinema, we all watched with our mouths open. The drop from the helicopter into the frozen lake, the building-to-building jumps, fights with things like a shopping cart, ladder, lamps, chairs, refrigerators, pool cues, scaffolding, skis, poles, bottles: it's a long list, but he's even more incredible with his hands, feet, his whole body. It all seemed impossible to believe he did those things until we saw the misses and practice, and injuries, on the outtakes. 

Rush Hour paid homage Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder and the combination of action and comedy has never been better than Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. And he's so lovable! Maybe it's the smile or just some inner goodness that shines through. Even when Chris Tucker is aggravating the hell out of him, he keeps his cool.  What I find so funny is that even with the fact that he's in perfect shape, can do all these incredible moves, and twist himself this way and that, when he tried to dance, he was awkward. Compared to Chris Tucker pretty much everyone's awkward at dancing, still... "how difficult is that?"   [According to Wikipedia, not only does he speak Cantonese, Mandarin, and English fluently, and also speaks some German, Korean, Japanese, and a little Spanish.]  He is super popular with kids (even more so after the remake of The Karate Kid). They are building a Jackie Chan museum in Shanghai!

• JET LI
Mr. Li was dropped in our movie-going laps like a hot coal, smoldering his way through Lethal Weapon 4, you knew that someone was going to get hurt (please make it Mel Gibson!) and they were. He's as intense as Jackie Chan seems sweet. Whatever character Jet Li plays, you are always a little afraid. Even in Romeo Must Die, which was a 180-degree turnaround from LW4, bad guy to good guy, he had a presence of danger (and sexuality). He seems a little evil, a little kinky. His only bad movies were just not worthy of him; he's been good in everything he did. I loved him in Unleashed. Watch him kick Dolph Lundgren's ass (wink) in The Expendables, also starring Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke, Steve Austin, Terry Crews, and Randy Couture.

• JASON STATHAM
A mean machine alright. He's tightly coiled and ready to spring into action.  If action movies were coffee, he'd be espresso—all that heat contained by a steely cool exterior that makes you want to push buttons just to set him off. Break the rules! Open the package!  He's not overly built, he's perfectly built. In a suit, he could be just another guy, like you. Yeah, you could do all that—not!  You just think you can 'cause he makes it look easy, and stays cool, calm, and collected. If he can do all that when he's under control, when he's pissed you know anything's possible. He moved past the thug roles to the James Bond type with The Transporter series and back to the thug. I'm sure his career will survive Crank: High Voltage, but I wish I could forget the image of his nasty hairy ass crack . . . Too much guys, too much!

(This black-and-white Brando-esque photo is all the proof you need that you can dress up the action figure.) He has the bad boy appeal, but only the charm is boyish, the rest is all man.

• DANIEL CRAIG
Of course this photo of the blue bikini! A very demure and proper friend went to see this movie (Casino Royale) with her husband, and beforehand she had down played wanting to see it because Daniel Craig was in it. But when he came out of the water in this bathing suit (translation: in this body), she says she made a noise, an involuntary  gutteral shudder of appreciation escaped her lips: "uuh-huh-huh-huh". To which her husband replied "Oh yeah?" No way she could deny that she found him attractive after that! I think it was pretty much the same for women around the world. Never has one blue bathing suit done so much for a man's career.

Daniel Craig's physicality was just what the Bond series needed. After the later years of Roger Moore looking (sorry Roger) a little ridiculous doing the kinds of things James Bond does, we needed someone who was up to the task of making the incredible action sequences believable. It's difficult to spot where Craig has a double in most scenes. Just the all-out, strong-as-hell way he runs in the opening chase of Casino Royale is enough, but he takes the character beyond, where it should have always been. I also enjoyed Quantum of Solace, although some didn't, and look forward to anything action-related or otherwise Craig does! Both movies had a strong, emotional plot line that fleshed out the character of the man. More than just an impressive figure in a bathing suit or tuxedo, Craig's Bond has depth, something you don't find in Action movies where we are usually satisfied with two-dimensionality. His is a thinking man's Bond. Kudos to the writers!

Sadly, we have to wait until 2012 for more in "Bond 23". Until then, maybe The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo will satisfy.

• KARL URBAN
Karl's career has been a succession of really interesting and fun parts. He has looked very different in most of his roles but none as impressive as he was in The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers as Eomer. Not since Interview With The Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles have so many gorgeous long-haired men been on screen, but he took the cake.

He was hilarious and scruffy in Ghost Ship, majestic in The LOTR Series, "flawless" as Vaako in The Chronicles of Riddick, underutilized in the anticipated yet disappointing Doom, heart-wrenching and vicious in Pathfinder, and spot on as Bones in Star Trek. Also, he seemed to bear a resemblance to Roger Moore in R.E.D. (Retired Extremely Dangerous) which borrowed a lot from Live and Let Die.

• THOMAS JANE
After seeing Thomas Jane in Deep Blue Sea, I was hoping to see more of him, and The Punisher delivered. He was great in both. He was too good for Deep Blue Sea and I don't remember seeing him in anything until he did The Punisher five years later, but his Deep Blue Sea performance was so strong, it stayed with me how out of place it was and great it would be to see him in an Action Movie. He also really sold it in The Punisher from beginning to end, but especially when he takes a beating in the fight scene with the big blonde freak. His Punisher is the best version. I think he would have been a great Captain Kirk, but they cast that well (not complaining).

(I haven't seen him in Give 'Em Hell Malone yet, but allouttabubblegum.com liked it. I really wanted to see The Mist (based on Stephen King's 1980 short story anthology from Dark Forces—I read it in Skeleton Crew: at 131 pages it's considered a novella) because I loved the setting and how it ended made you want more., but I missed that as well. I thought it would be great to see how CGI helped them make that into a movie. Gotta get busy and play catch up on my Thomas Jane watching!)

He had a small (uncredited) role in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. 2011 has him coming out in a thriller, I Melt With You, and a comedy, LOL, but I'd love to see him do more Action.   (Title aside, I wonder if 2008's Mutant Chronicles was any good?)

• GERARD BUTLER
300 didn't just put Gerard Butler on the action-figure map, it put him on the map with a Krispy-Kreme-HOT-NOW-red-neon sign. This movie is the greatest beefcake buffet of all time. It's like your plate just gets fuller and fuller and at the end of the movie, it's still overflowing, but they were so busy piling on, you forgot to eat. I heard and see the physiques were enhanced with spray on (at left) and digital effects. That's just jealousy talking, and who cares!? It's also been called homo-erotic—Gay men weren't the only ones who liked it!  It was a reality check anyway, the no-you're-not-in-good-enough-shape-to-be-this-for-Halloween realization for the average guy. Magnum (P.I.) and Putty (from Seinfeld) come to mind as the beefy version of the average-Joe type that illustrates Gerard's appeal. He's not so pretty, but he is ruggedly handsome. This movie got even better for me when Tom Wisdom as Astinos came on and satisfied my Keanu Reeves craving. Women should watch this every day to even out the b.s. from men looking at girlie magazines. (Now maybe you know how it feels.)

• STEVEN SEAGAL
The Master! Steven Seagal . . . Bone-crackin' trash talkin' at its most entertaining! The essence of action movies in ultra-in-your-face form. A few drops of a Seagal movie is more than fun than other whole movies. He was one of the most entertaining action movie actors out there. If he walked into a room, it was deep shit. He really doesn't need weapons although he sure knows how to use them, and can make up some of his own. He'll beat the crap out of you, help you up, then smack you on the back of the head. It still hurts my face every time I watch this scene.  His movies have SO MANY great one-liners, where do you begin? "Let me do it my way. Just give me an unmarked and a shotgun." This'll get your teeth knocked out: "You wanna get by me? There's only two things stopping you. Beer and common sense."

Ask R. Lee Ermey:  "My guy in D.C. tells me that we are not dealing with a student here, we're dealing with the professor. Anytime the military has an operation that can't fail, they call this guy in to train the troops, okay? He's the kind of guy that would drink a gallon of gasoline so he could piss in your campfire. You could drop this guy off at the Arctic Circle wearing a pair of bikini underwear without his toothbrush, and tomorrow afternoon he's gonna show up at your poolside with a million-dollar smile and a fistful of pesos." (Come on! If you've got R. Lee Ermey talking about you, it doesn't get more bad-ass than that!) (And if you had to click on that link to find out who R. Lee Ermey is— get off my site! Just kidding, happy to share that one if you didn't already know.)

REGULAR JOES
Often, these characters find themselves in impossible situations and rise to the challenge. In shape, but not unusually so like the Action Figure, they and their characters are often hugely popular because they are so relatable. The characters, too, are often about their moral compass. The everyday hero and the man we look up to, want to model ourselves after, and deluded-ly think we could be, if just for a Saturday afternoon.

• HARRISON FORD
(bowing) Not worthy! What can I say about the ridiculously AMAZING career of Harrison Ford. He was Indiana Jones and Han Solo. That would be enough in itself, but he did so much more. He's Dr. Richard Kimble (The Fugitive), Jack Ryan (Patriot Games and Clear and Present Danger), and Rick Deckard (Blade Runner).  It's hard to pin down what Harrison brings to a role but he's got charisma in spades, something everyone first noticed in American Graffiti. He comes across as a good man, a catch, something women loved to see him portray in Working Girl. He played against type in n Presumed Innocent to great effect with a thrilling ending. Was hilarious as a Realtor/Detective in Hollywood Homicide. It's quite a list of movies: and I left out a few: Air Force One, The Hunt For Red October, Apocalypse Now, Force 10 From Navarone, Witness, Frantic, The Mosquito Coast, Hanover Street, Regarding Henry, Sabrina, The Devil's Own, Random Hearts, What Lies Beneath, K-19: The Widowmaker.

He could be considered our John Wayne. The man's man.  The man men look to to know how to be men.

We love you Harrison! (He knows.)

• BURT REYNOLDS
My boy Burt. No one young understands how big he was (how well liked, how good looking, how much charisma and record-shattering box-office draw he had). You had to have lived through it.  Shown here with two of the loves of his life: Dinah Shore and Smokey and The Bandit co-star Sally Field. He said later of leaving Sally Field for Loni Anderson that he traded a diamond for a rhinestone.

The Cosmo issue where he was the centerfold (cropped version below) sold out in minutes on newstands. No man had ever posed nude before. (Burt knew what women wanted—him!. And no, he didn't show anything.) Before there was Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, there was Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, before them, Robert Redford and Burt Reynolds (and Paul Newman and Marlon Brando) (my point? HOT HOT men). He's more of a dramatic actor than an Action Movie star, but he helped fuel the love of the genre immeasurably because he always brought excitement and action to his films (hear him say so better than I can).

Just so you can appreciate the breadth of his career, he started on TV with the Gunsmoke series (1955). He has 90 feature films to his credit, so I want to mention just my favorites:  There's the single role he's most known for Deliverance (1972), and the type of movies he's most know for: the Smokey and The Bandit movies (1977,80, 83), Cannonball Run I and II (1981, 84), and Hooper (1978). I love all those, but I also loved him in The End (1978), Rough Cut (1980), Sharkey's Machine (1981), Stick (1985) [filmed here in South Florida] where legendary stuntman Dar Robinson did a backwards fall while shooting a gun off a condo in Fort Lauderdale—a stunt first done for this movie (no net). It came off as such a vicious thing to do: be on your way to death and still be shooting.  It was copied later in many other movies, including Trinity in the Matrix Reloaded (@1:29], Heat (1986), Physical Evidence and Breaking In (both from 1989), Cop and ½ (1993) [co-starring a friend from high school Tom Kouchalakos :D], and The Crew (2000).

Burt was also the first to show outtakes at the end of a movie (Hooper). It was so obvious they were having a great time filming, and he knew we would love to see that, and wanted to share it. You just gotta love his unique laugh (hear it in the Smokey And The Bandit 2 outtakes at @1:26).

How big was Burt? He turned down playing James Bond and starring in Die Hard. 

He appeared recently on Burn Notice (July 2010) and threw down ;).  I would say there are few actors more loved than Burt Reynolds. 

• CLINT EASTWOOD
What do you say about a man with such a body of work!? Going back to the early days of the Italian films and 'spaghetti westerns', he was just this lanky good-looking actor who downplayed the emotional side of acting. We came to love him for this. Shoot first and shut the hell up. The man with no name.

Then the Dirty Harry character came along and it was like adding Raiders to Star Wars for Harrison Ford, we already loved Clint, but this made us love him more. Then the fighting movies with the orangutan. How to take it to the next level! Instead of just shooting his way through shit, he started brawling. It gave me new respect for him as an actor, as a man. He wasn't that young either to be playing that role, and that made it all the better. Made him a tough guy legend.

Then he started directing. It was like coming full circle when he made Unforgiven. An ode of love to the western, for which he won Best Director and Best Picture. Often imitated (I think David Caruso is trying to be Eastwood behind those sunglasses in CSI) but never with the same impact. The calm, deadly, silent strength and tall good looks were a unique combination.

There's no one like him. He made his own brand of 'cool'.

• NICOLAS CAGE
There's almost nobody I enjoy watching more. The timbre of his voice is so pleasing—he could be reciting the grocery list and I'm enraptured. From as goofy as he was in Peggy Sue Got Married ("Lucky Chucky") to 'Mr. Slick' in Lord of War, he's thoroughly entertaining and can't-take-your-eyes-(and ears)-off-him watchable. His delivery in The Rock was so much fun it added to that roller-coaster-ride feeling, like you were on it with him.  He can do more with a nothing role than you can conceive of (LOL Wicker Man).

Leading man and Action Movie star, he mixes it up better than anyone else. He's done a big variety of roles and looked very different in a lot of them. You know he was impressive looking for Con Air!  His performance can carry a film, like in Bangkok Dangerous. Not that the other actors in his movies aren't good too, it's just that what they do seems to add to him, not take away. It's rare anyone can steal a scene from Cage (like Sammi Rotibi "Gun of Rambo" in Lord of War). He's very 'Bond' in his smoothness and charm, yet so down to earth and likeable: perfect example: Family Man. After Gone in 60 Seconds, I hoped his career would go more toward Action but he's done more than enough to be included here. 

He's hot, he's cool, he's Cage!

• LIAM NEESON
I don't know what took me so long to add the irresistible Irishman Liam Neeson! Maybe it's because he's so well-rounded in his choice of roles. So many great movies, you may be wondering "He was in that?" If that is what you're thinking it's probably because he's so good at acting you forget it's him. And with someone with his physique and stature, that's quite a compliment. In the otherwise enjoyable but forgettable Suspect starring Cher and Dennis Quade, he played his character so well, the unsettling performance is still with me. He charmed me down to my toes in Rob Roy. As large off screen as he is on. He IS the stuff legends are made of, yet there's something so real, so grounded about him. What a career! Here are just a few:

Excalibur (1981)

Krull (1983)

The Bounty (1984)

The Mission (1986)

A Prayer For The Dying (1987) with Bob Hoskins and Mickey Rourke (whose bad-assery consists mainly of smoking wherever he feels like, especially when told not to, with unintended hilarity!)

Suspect (1987)

The Dead Pool (1988)

Next of Kin (1989) with Patrick Swayze

Darkman (1990)

Schindler's List (1993)

Rob Roy (1995)

Michael Collins (1996)

Star Wars: Episode 1-The Phantom Menace (1999) A fitting and welcome addition!

Gangs of New York (2002)

Love Actually (2003)

Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

Batman Begins (2005)

Taken (2008)

Clash of the Titans (2010) Who else could play Zeus?—such a voice!

The A-Team (2010)

• BRUCE WILLIS
After Moonlighting, we loved Bruce Willis for Die Hard. The do-it-yourself cop with the take-no-bullshit attitude. It's the adventure we always dreamed of having: being the hero on your Christmas break. The wrench in the works, Bruce got under Alan Rickman's skin like a bad rash. The cowboy taking out the Eurotrash.

"Yippe-ki-yay mother fucker!"

We'd like to imagine we'd be this heroic if put in his situation.  He's the personification of the American spirit in this role. We believe in him because we believe in ourselves.

He can be forgiven for Hudson Hawk because the rest of the Die Hard series was REALLY GREAT, but when they say things like "his face is unrecognizable" (The Jackal) you have to laugh, because Bruce is stuck with the John McClane persona, like it or not, and a very distinct way of moving (in the shoulders) and pursing his lips . . . To paraphrase a line from a Toby Keith song, he's "Not as good as he once was, but he's as good, once, as he ever was." In other words, he'll be John McClane no matter who they cast him as, and he'll never be as good.  It's an insult but also a tremendous compliment. 

Another Action Movie compliment paid was that Stallone included him in the ultimate Action Boys' Club The Expendables.

• SEAN CONNERY
A Scotsman. He was everyone's favorite James Bond. He and singer >Tom Jones (who? LOL) ruled the world at one time. Seems like the other Bonds just played the part. He embodied it. His distinctive voice and self assurance were half of his appeal, the rest: good looks and his acting ability.  (You have to have charisma and confidence in spades to pull off an outfit like this one from Zardoz.)

From this legendary early role, his career only added to his larger-than-life persona. My favorites roles of his are all the Bond movies (but especially Live and Let Die), The Wind and The Lion, The Man Who Would be King, The Great Train Robbery, Outland, The Untouchables, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, The Hunt for Red October, Family Business ("Where did you find this fucking parasite?" LMAO), and The Rock.

It didn't matter what his age was, he pulled it off until  Entrapment with Catherine Zeta-Jones. His Action Movie 'cred' brings such strength to a movie, for example, The Rock. Who do you get when you need a bad ass who's been locked up for 30 years? "John Patrick Mason, General Sir."

"Swords for $400." XD

It all culminated for me in No Country For Old Men. (How do you not get the ending?!) Those damn Coen geniuses, who else but Tommy Lee Jones?!! "Whatcha got ain't nothin new. This country's hard on people, you can't stop what's coming, it ain't all waiting on you. That's vanity." Well, if it was gonna wait for anyone, it'd be Tommy Lee. But he's gonna die, and he's okay with that. Not a good prognosis for the country, but then when the kid with playing cards on the spokes of his bikes accepts the bloody money [I wanted him to tear it up (so easy to corrupt the innocent!) but he didn't], it tore my heart in two. (It was like a Norman Rockwell painting of evil.)  And Tommy Lee's character's acceptance of his coming death, equally as sad.

The All-American blonde look has never been better represented. He's got all of Robert Redford's appeal plus physicality, and is better looking than Brad Pitt (I may be the only female who doesn't think that Brad hung the moon).  He's "Holy Mother of God" hot!

• ROBERT SHAW
Robert Shaw was my favorite actor. My favorite roles of his are From Russia With Love (1963), The Sting (1973), The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974), Jaws (1975), Swashbuckler (1976), The Deep (1977), and Force 10 From Navarone (1978). A man's man, and an Englishman. A great voice and in-charge presence: He stole the show in Jaws. He re-wrote the Indianapolis monologue and the final version was done in one take. A lot of what was great about "Quint" in Jaws was all Robert. You know you loved him!

Tragically, he died at only 51.

Ninja Assassin is a must-see movie for any Action Movie Freak and an astonishingly impressive first Action Movie leading role for Rain—Hope to see LOTS more of him in Action Movies, although there is nothing listed for him on IMDB in 2011.

In a series of progressively tougher fight scenes building up to a what-is-he-capable-of? finale, Merantau showcased Iko's Silat skills with jaw-dropping impact. Out of this role as a slender, unassuming young man, a major action star was born. Can't wait for more from Iko!  Here's an interview with Writer/Director Gareth Evans by Robert A. Mitchell @SoldierOfCinema of The Raid (aka Serbuan Maut). The Raid opened TIFF Midnight Madness.  Sony picked it up for the U.S. It should be released in Indonesia in January 2012. 

He seems to have an inclination toward action, so we hope that he chooses well and that he's offered choice roles. Maybe he would be THE all-time best Batman!

Reported as Jackie Chan's successor, Jack Tu stars in the martial arts movie The Forgotten Jewel. He is the lead in the parkour movie Tropical Tornado. The winner of a national talent search show called Disciple, Jack Tu was chosen by Jackie Chan after an extended and rigorous audition process: "We experienced war, Chinese ancient drama, science fiction, and boats, water, explosions, car crashing, jumping off buildings. We also experienced all the movie stunts that Jackie has done in his past movies. He said that in two or three months, it compacted what he has done in ten years."

We haven't scratched the surface of the potential for truly strong women in Action Movies. I thought Red Sonja in 1985 was an indicator of things to come, but we're still waiting! (check out Seeing Red Over Sonja)  What are we waiting for?! Strong women need to get out there and make these movies! All of the women below are more the type of women MEN want to see. We are missing the type of woman WOMEN want to see, like JeeJa Yanin . . .

The follow-up movie, Raging Phoenix was billed as "Chinese Drunken Fist vs. Drunken Muay Thai", plus B-Boy moves! The Thai movies in general and this one in particular throw so much at you, it's hard to not be amazed. The creativity of the fighting moves, and the intensity is unmatched.  If you haven't seen either, you must see both!

She holds 6 Black Belts, and if this clip is typical of her work, it reminds me of what they said about Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers: that she did everything he did, backwards and in heels. Here, Rothrock looks a little like Jackie Chan . . . in heels. 

• MICHELLE YEOH

Ye-oh-my-god! She left such an indelible impression after Tomorrow Never Dies (1997), it gave girls everywhere hope of equality with men! There seemed to be nothing she couldn't do.

In Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2003) she was also so good that she could do nothing else the rest of her career, and still be an Action Movie legend. She 'brought it' to the screen and hacked it to pieces. She was a dancer, but had no formal martial arts training (!). She does her own fighting and most of her own stunts. "She gets injured a lot" according to IMDB. More reason to love her! Proving strength is not a man's province, Yeoh sells it like nobody else.

She turned down a role in The Matrix: Reloaded. Our loss!

And as Ultraviolet, she was a force of nature! If you could stop watching with your mouth open long enough, you had to notice she was effective as hell in those roles. Compare her to Linda Hamilton: Milla's proof you don't have to look butch to kick ass.  That was unkind to Linda Hamilton, yes, but also flattering as Hamilton raised the bar on the standard of kick ass. 

In a male-dominated genre, she stands tall literally and figuratively! I don't need Superman. I'll take Ripley, Ellen, Lieutenant First Class 36706, and happily be a clone.  

How perfect is this? Zhang was to play Mulan in a film directed by Jan de Bont,  which, according to Wikipedia was supposed to wrap January 2011, but for which no release date is mentioned (I could not find it on IMDB).  This lengthy comment is the only thing I could find. (I disagree on the 3D and the English—I would love to see her as Mulan in any language, 3D or not.)

She next appeared as a minor love-interest role in the underappreciated The Takers.  (I think they chose her for her real-life background in Action Movies so she would seem 'the part', and her role would be informed by her career choices.)  Shoot me for liking it (the critics didn't).  It delivered!  Zoe's proved she's got what it takes many times, but I think she was best in COLOMBiANA.  If you haven't seen it, you should—especially if you're a woman!

"Hey Carrie Anne, what's your game now, can anybody play?" I wonder if she was named for that 1967 Hollies song. That's the year she was born.

Earning her place here for a savage-yet-endearing performance in Point of No Return, convincingly portraying a girl pushed too far and what she's capable of (of what maybe anyone is, with enough programming and training). Her delicate features and femininity that make it all the more devastating to watch her do those things. Her intensity and concentration seem real. Point of No Return delivers the Action Movie excitement as effectively as any guy-star's movie. But maybe you think I'm saying that just cause I'm a girl—Bite me!

That's right! Geena Davis. You know why . . . The Long Kiss Goodnight. Geena is quite a chameleon when it comes to roles and hasn't gotten nearly enough credit for her talent. She is completely believable in this real-life nightmare. Her character's alter-ego is a contrast to what we probably think Geena is in real life. That makes it all the better. The script is great too. She's a bad mother! (Shut your mouth!)